4 tricky personalities and how to deal with them at work
From calling out a passive-aggressive comment to silencing a serial moaner, here’s how to deal with the personalities you’ll never change
As children, we are taught that if you don’t like someone, the best course of action is to simply walk away. As adults in the workplace, however, that isn’t always possible.
So what do you do when you find yourself faced with a personality at work who you just can’t get on with? Rather than constantly clash and end up causing even more problems for other colleagues, there are tools you can turn to.
Firstly, try not to take everything personally – these are work colleagues, not friends. Also, often people’s actions are driven by a whole host of unseen factors that have absolutely nothing to do with you. And remember that it’s ok to disagree with people; diversity is what makes workplaces work.
However, sometimes a general geniality isn’t enough to get you through, so we’ve laid out four of the most common disruptive personalities you might meet at work and advice on how to deal with them.
Big egos
Enormous egos are one of the most common irritants at work, and you’ll meet them at every job. They are also one of the most difficult to deal with, as they rarely care about other people’s feelings or how they are perceived, so stop trying to show them the error or their narcissistic ways (as you’ll never get through), grit your teeth and try the below instead:
- Flattery will get you everywhere, so give that huge ego a stroke in order to get them to do what you want
- Clearly explain what’s in it for them when asking them to do a task, as this is all they are really interested in
Lavish praise on them for jobs well done – they already think they are the bee’s knees, but if they believe you think it too, it could motivate them
Gossips
We all love a bit of workplace gossip and general banter is good for teambuilding, however some people can take it too far. When a colleague is purposely spreading rumours and stirring up underlying tensions for sport, this can damage morale. This usually stems from insecurities they have, but is hurtful nonetheless, so try this:
- Clearly communicate to that person that what they have done is hurtful, and explain why it is also not helpful to the business
- Don’t get involved in salacious gossip as gossips thrive on this – this is one situation where walking away remains the best course of action
Take everything you hear from these people with a pinch of salt, both things said about you and to you
Complainers
There’s always one person in the mix who never stops moaning about being overworked, underpaid, not respected – whatever their grumble is, you’ll likely hear about it most days. These people are also not great at taking responsibility for their own actions. Take a deep breath, and try some of the below:
- Be patient and empathetic with them while listening to their complaints
- When possible, present contradictory arguments to their gripes by using solid evidence or examples when you feel the slights are perceived rather than real
Cut them short by explaining that while you understand this is a subject close to their heart, you unfortunately don’t have the time to discuss it as you have work to do
Passive-aggressive co-workers
A sideways sneer shot out at work can be one of the most difficult things to deal with – especially if this plays out in front of customers. While what they do or say might appear nice, you know it’s phony and intended to be hurtful. These are the slights that, when put on paper, are hard to explain to HR or your boss, but there are ways to clip passive aggressive co-workers’ wings:
- Avoid getting sucked into their game – instead of responding in kind, be beyond reproach by communicating with them openly and professionally
- Call them on their bad behaviour by explaining how their actions made you feel and why
Try to win them over by showing a genuine interest in their feelings, as often this personality type is just lashing out for attention, or there might be a genuine problem at the root of their behaviour that you could address together